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Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Sugar or Eating Disorder?

Let's play a game.  It's called "sugar or eating disorder."  I have been a compulsive overeater for pretty much my entire life.  I am more of a grazer than a binge eater.  No disappearing into the closet to consume an entire pizza and half a cake for me, thankyouverymuch.  It doesn't mean that I didn't/don't have disordered eating though.  For a long time, I just didn't realize that not being a binger didn't mean I didn't have food issues (that's a lot of "didn'ts" -- sorry!).  It does mean I would have the compulsion to put food in my mouth pretty much every other minute of every single day.  When I wasn't eating, I was deciding what I would eat next.  It literally took all of my energy figuring out all my food stuff.  [You can read more on my sugar adventure HERE.]


Silly monkey, eat the right food!
So fast forward to now.  I'm almost three months in to following Ellen's eating advice.  She never took anything away from me.  She just made some suggestions and let me follow my own path.  Sugar makes you tired?  Hey, maybe you shouldn't eat that!  Suddenly, less sugar was making me more tired.  Maybe cut down some more!  Then suddenly, now if I eat too much sugar, I get a blinding headache.  All in the span of about two months.  But I never felt like Ellen told me I couldn't eat sugar.  I just started making the choice not to eat something that made me feel like shit.  In fact, at Ellen's birthday over the weekend, I ate about one-quarter of a cupcake and it was too much for me (at least I only got sweaty and tired, I didn't get the headache, but I stopped because I knew my limit).  This coming from a girl who could at least eat one entire cupcake only three months ago.  It didn't take my body long to celebrate the loss of a "food source" it didn't need and start reminding me not to eat it whenever I did.  I've lost about 15 pounds, and that's all from changing the foods I eat, not reducing the calories I eat. 

Yesterday I was listening to a podcast from the 2nd Annual Eating Psychology Online Conference.  He was interviewing a woman about eating disorders.  Granted, they were mostly talking about binge eating disorder, but other disorders were mentioned, and I realized something I hadn't noticed before -- I don't feel that way at all anymore.  No constant compulsion to eat anything and everything at all hours of the day.  I'm not rabidly searching my shelves for sugary snacks at work.  I don't think about what I'm going to eat next as I am eating my current meal/snack.  I actually now have defined meals and snacks instead of leaving food on my desk and literally munching all day long.  I certainly still have A LOT to learn about what to eat and when to eat (just because I work so much and have too many side activities), but I am now eating because my stomach is hungry, not because my head told me I needed to eat.  I am also still making the majority of my meals at home, I have cut out fast food almost completely, and when I do eat out, I am making better choices for myself.  Also -- and this is huge -- when stress hits me, jellybeans are no longer my first thought.

I pondered whether I ever had an eating disorder at all, or if the sugar was just always controlling me. 

I guess that in itself is probably an eating disorder, or at least disordered eating -- whatever you feel comfortable calling it.  And I certainly felt like I transferred addictions after gastric bypass [HERE is another post you can read on the subject].  When I couldn't eat, I shopped.  When I couldn't shop anymore, I started eating again and gained weight.  I took anti-depressants and gained more weight.  I tried diet products and gained even more weight.  But all of that could still have been fueled by too much sugar and processed food in my diet (including the "necessity" of the anti-depressants, which are terrible for my body).  I guess I'll never truly know.  I have so many health issues related to gastric bypass and my food choices.  I can honestly say I probably would not have lived into my 80's or 90's like my grandmothers before me if Ellen had not intervened.  I realize none of us know when our time will come but now I at least feel like I have a fighting chance.  I will be forever grateful to Ellen for sending me down the right path in the food department. 

So saying I never had an eating disorder or have now been cured of one might be dangerous but I certainly do feel better about my life in general since cutting down on sugar.  If you have had similar experiences with sugar, please share them with me.  I love hearing from all of you!

Friday, July 18, 2014

My Sasja Lee Weekend

I wrote about Sasja Lee, aka Sassy, over two years ago.  We bonded over In-N-Out on Facebook and we have been FB buddies ever since.  Last weekend, Sasja came to San Francisco to dance at Volare Variety and teach some workshops, so we got to hang out a little bit. 


Cast of Volare
Sasja has been tearing up the competition circuit this past year.  I watched her win California Pole Dance Championship last year and she has been pretty much winning every competition since.  I really don't know what she can't do.  I understand she won CPDC just days after being in a horrible car accident!  Beast mode.  Seriously. 

Anyway, after Volare, Sasja and SeanMichael rode back on BART with Rita and me, where they gave BART riders a thrilling public trans shoulder mount experience.  It was so funny!  I got photos but I guess video would have been better -- maybe next time!  It turned out that Sasja was eager to ride BART after reading on Facebook about some of my "awesome" experiences. 

shoulder mount on BART
The next morning, Sasja did two workshops at Twirly Girls.  I pretty much judge my workshop experience based on how an instructor treats me after the class has advanced beyond my skills (which will happen in most workshops and I am okay with it).  We were learning a little routine.  After she taught each piece, Sasja would come around and watch each of us do the move.  We finally got to a point where you would invert, pike, then go into superman.  I giggled.  Time for me to check out!  So she gets to my pole and she says, your turn!  I said, yeah right.  She goes, no seriously, try it!  So I went to get my woody band seat belt and I got myself upside down.  She says, now let go and grab above your leg.  I said, you're crazy.  She said she's heard that before.  HA!  Look, once I'm upside down, I need all my arms and legs to hold on for dear life.  I'm not ready to let go yet.  I really, really appreciated her continuing to include me in the class, and I feel like I learned so much even once the routine was more advanced than I could do.  I really do appreciate those instructors who continue to include me even though I can't do all the moves.  It is a small effort and makes a dancer who struggles with moves like I do feel like I am still part of class.  I still got some pretty awesome bruises that I've been proudly showing off to anyone who will look. 

That being said, for the last 20 minutes, I did just go to the back room and start stretching.  Perhaps a brutal yoga class right before a 90 minute Sasja Lee workshop wasn't my best choice that day! 

I really wish I had been able to spend more time with Sasja during her trip.  I swear, I'm going to win the lottery someday and just start hanging out with these cool people who have such interesting lives!

Have you ever taken a workshop with Sasja?  Tell me about it in the comments section!

Covering up Sasja's amazing arms
Getting ready for the BART shoulder mount
Our class
My tiny sister
 
That's me!!!  This bruise is the most fantastic!

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

July 2014 Blog Hop: Mid-Year Review

It is time for the blog hop again and we are doing a check-in!  How is 2014 going for you?

My year has been fantastic!

I got a new job, have started gaining strength, and Rob is also working.  I am out of my dark place.

When I wrote about my intentions in January, I set four goals:

Flexibility:  I am hitting up yoga 3-4 days a week.  I still feel very inflexible but I can still tell the difference now that I am doing yoga so often.  I love how I feel!!  I feel strong. 

Deal with foot issues:  My feet hurt on occasion, but for the most part, I think my surgery foot is all healed up!  If I walk A TON, it will definitely be sore, but it no longer hurts.  It is such a relief.

Do more, do less.  Weeeeellllllll....I might need to work on this a bit.  I am doing too much and I'm exhausted.  But I feel like it is all stuff I need to do.  I have to work.  I have to work out.  I have to do NCPP stuff.  I have to foster friendships by spending time with people.  Sooooo....what do you cut out?

Be healthy.  I am on a journey and I am doing really well.  Ellen is literally saving my life.  You can read my latest post on that HERE.

 Anyway, there's my quick check-in.  Now you can check out a photo journal of the past six months.  I like to say that I'll sleep when I'm dead.  If I had more money, my adventures might be more grand.  But for what I have, I feel like my life is pretty fun. 

January: Volare Variety
February: Cowboy Wild's show at 1220

February: Yoga in Lake Tahoe
March: Volare Variety

March: Twirly Girls

March: Hey look, I'm doing yogini!  hahaha!
April: Twirly Girls

April: Stiletto Night at Twirly Girls

April: Fun night at Diablo Gym

April: Lovely Rita Fundraiser

April: Twirly Girls
May: Playing Candy from Chunky Girl Comics

May: Dressed up as Snow White

May: Twirly Girls
June: Twirly Girls

June: From Liquidpulp photoshoot

June: Horseback riding on the beach

June: AIDS Walk Fundraiser...Bitches be like...

June: Twirly Girls
July: Fly Gym at Twirly Girls

July: New hair!

June: Twirly Girls
I am looking forward to the next half of the year!  Tell me how you're doing with your goals!


Monday, July 14, 2014

UPA's Bringing Sexy Back 2014

Here is my contribution to UPA's Bringing Sexy Back 2014 challenge. 

This is probably the first full song I've free danced in almost two years.  My foot is mostly pain-free again!  I've lost about 15 pounds, and I feel stronger than I have in a long time.  It looks like I'm on my way back!  Thanks to everyone who has been on this journey with me!


Pole Strength: More Woody Band Exercises

I made a couple of new videos about how to use iron woody bands for pole strengthening exercises.  Check them out.  One is a pole-up to the side of the pole and the other is a push-up on the ground.  Let me know what you think, and if you have any requests, leave a comment.  Thanks!






Thursday, July 10, 2014

Myofascial Release and the Old Lady Hip

I recently wrote about how eventful my latest doctor's appointment had been.  You can read that post HERE.  One of my issues is what I call my "old lady hip."  My doctor had just moved my leg and immediately knew there was a problem.  I hurt it almost five years ago.  I wasn't an injury per se.  It just started feeling very sore. 

Most likely it coincided with me pole dancing, as it started just a couple of months after I started dancing.  I figured it was probably the pivoting barefoot on the floor that may have made me sore.  I now use dance paws.  Anyway, I went to a specialist years ago and they sent me for an MRI or whatever they do when they want to look at your tissue.  The idiot tech placed me in a way that left a good portion of my legs hanging off the tray.  Then he told me to hold my legs up and stay still.  For 25 minutes.  Shockingly, even with abs of steel, I shook a little and the MRI was unreadable.  The doctor didn't seem to think it was worth sending me for another one or digging further (other than offering pointless cortisone shots), so I just kind of learned to deal with the pain.

I was introduced to Keith Ortiz who does amazing bodywork.  You can read about him HERE.  He definitely helped relieve my pain and kept me walking.  There were certainly days when I thought I was donezo.  However, even when he used to offer a great discount to me, visits to Keith are expensive (worth every penny but still...if you don't have money, you don't have it).  So I wasn't visiting him as often as I should. 

Fast forward to now and my new primary care physician says that since the x-ray showed no arthritis in the hip, we needed to act quickly to make sure it didn't develop.  He says it is curable now, but won't be once arthritis sets in.  He tells me he can perform myofascial release on me.  He says it is veeeeeeeeeeery painful but will eventually cure me.  Oh, and I have to come to his office twice a week.  Well, since his co-pay is much lower than Keith's fee, his office is a mile away from me, and I can actually get my co-pay reimbursed through my health savings account, I kind of can't say no.  I mean, unless I want to let myself develop arthritis.  So, I say yes. 

What is myofascial release?  I will let the Mayo Clinic define it:

"Myofascial (mi-oh-FASH-al) release is a manual therapy technique often used in massage. The technique focuses on pain believed to arise from myofascial tissues — the tough membranes that wrap, connect and support your muscles. Theoretically, myofascial pain differs from other types of pain because it originates in 'trigger points,' which are related to stiff, anchored areas within the myofascia. The pain that a trigger point causes is often difficult to localize, though.

During myofascial release therapy, the therapist locates myofascial areas that feel stiff and fixed instead of elastic and movable under light manual pressure. These areas, though not always near what feels like the source of pain, are thought to restrict muscle and joint movements, contributing to widespread muscle pain. The focused manual pressure and stretching used in myofascial release therapy loosen up restricted movement, leading indirectly to reduced pain."

What does that mean in real life?  Think of an area of your body where you feel pain.  Doesn't have to be right this second.  Maybe you injured your knee once, or broke your arm once.  You remember how much it hurt, though, right?  Now think of pinching that area as hard as you can.  On and off for about 20 minutes.  That's myofascial release. 


Stretching alone isn't enough...
At my first appointment this week, my doctor warned me again that it would be painful.  I told him I had experienced it through my bodyworker so I knew what to expect.  And I dealt with the pain through loud yoga breathing and occasional exclamations about how this "wasn't my favorite!"  The whole time, in my head, I'm begging for it to stop.  I felt like I dealt with it pretty well though.  And at the end of the appointment, my doctor remarked that most of his patients scream during the procedure.  The receptionist said the same thing on my way out.  It was kinda funny.  I go back for Round 2 tomorrow.  Yay?
I have always wondered if all the scar tissue from my lower body lift has contributed to this issue.  The left side of my hip is "thicker" than the right side so I feel like it makes sense that there might be more scar tissue and those little scar fingers have been reaching out and grabbing at my hip socket.  I actually spoke to someone about this issue recently and have an upcoming blog about scar tissue and muscles.  But it makes sense to me. 

Anyway, I am willing to put up with the pain if it fixes the long term problem.  Since seeing Keith, I have certainly been in less pain, but have never been able to go to him often enough to be truly pain-free.  The stretches my doctor gave me to do every night alone have taken my pain down a couple of notches already.  Has anyone ever tried myofascial release?  I'd love to hear about your experiences!

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Using the woody band for pole moves

I had posted some photos on my fan page using a woody band to help me with cradle.  Someone asked for a video so I made one. 

Here are my warnings:  Never rely on the woody band to fully hold your weight.  It could snap, causing you to fall on your noggin.  Also, use a spotter, or at least never do dangerous moves when you are alone.  I learned that one the hard way once. 

I did make this video while alone in the studio.  I only did a half-invert so I wouldn't end up upside down and in a precarious position, which was very, very ugly.  I don't need to hear about how I am not strong enough to invert and shouldn't.  If I don't do exercises that get me upside down, I will never BE strong enough to invert. 

You also don't have to just use the woody band for inverting.  I also get down into push-up position and it helps me lower myself all the way to the floor and back up.  Get creative and post your photos on my fan page!

In the meantime, check out my video showing you a couple of ways I use woody bands: